The Easter Party

Last year before Easter, our neighborhood had an official “yard sale.”  While my wife and I didn’t participate (thus leaving mom’s and my clothes safe from possible discovery and/or sale), several homes around us set up tables.  After spending a busy morning out and about, upon my return I strolled up a couple houses to see how our neighbors (not the ones who saw me in a skirt last fall – instead, the nosey ones) fared.

As it turned out, they did relatively well that morning – for a yard sale…things went cheap, but that’s to be expected.  The sad part was that she had a very nice selection of lined skirts left over, which seemed to be roughly my size, selling for cheap – like $1.  Though I didn’t ratchet up the courage to ask about them…I’d really have loved to go through them and pick some I’d enjoy wearing.   But to their grandkids, who visit frequently,  I’m still Mr. (insert my real name here.)   No need to publicly muddy the water any more than it already is, by my androgynous attire….

The Easter party that night proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that not everyone in the area knows me as a guy.  The ladies at the door were handing out Easter necklaces to the females.  Both women knew me, and I didn’t get one, since they were only for  ladies. 

A few minutes later, a woman assisting them for the evening came up to me and said “Oh, you didn’t get a necklace, sweetie, let me get that for you…” and dashed right off.  She came back and said “the girls just advised me that boys don’t get them, but it does look cute on (insert wife’s name here, which she read from our name tags. Remember, my first name is now a girl’s name.)”  My wife and I looked at each other as she left… My comment: “Looks like she didn’t know me, with my long hair.”  My wife grimaced:  “Or your nails, purse, stirrup pants, turtleneck and ballerina flats.  But she does now…”

Recently I ended up taking my wife to a medical appointment on the other side of the bay.  It was a long, LONG drive in the hard rain.  On the way back, I had to run into a store to make a quick purchase.  As I was leaving the mall, a young mother with a baby in a stroller was having problems getting out of the store…the automatic doors were out of order.  I asked “May I help you, Ma’am?”  Her reply:  “Oh yes, please.  We’re sort of stuck here between the doors.”  I helped her get the door open and the carriage out.  “Wow, thank you SO much for rescuing me, Ma’am!” 

Ah, yes…the wonderful feminine power of a pair of stirrup pants, purse, flats, long hair and nails…that’s always a good feeling!